Tears of Anguish
by Frerard Vamp
Summary: Sam copes with girlfriends death. One Shot. Fluff.


-1**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing.**

"Sammy?" Dean peaked through his younger brothers bedroom door. "Autumn finished dinner. Are you coming down?" he asked.

"No. Just go." Sam replied, rolling over in bed to face away from his brother.

"Sam you have to eat. I realize it's hard to lose someone you love. It's happened to us before. We have to move on." Dean walked through the door and sat on the foot of Sam's bed.  
"Dean, that's the fourth person I loved that's died. I moved on after Jess. I moved on after Dad. I barely knew Mom but I moved on after her too. I loved Athena more than any girl I've ever dated. More than Jess even. And now she's gone. You expect me to move on just like that but I can't…"

"I know Sammy. Autumn and I are grieving too. Hell, Autumn was her sister. But she's not trying to starve herself, or grieve herself to death. She's trying to move on, she's trying to live her life the way Athena would of wanted her to."

"Can you just go?" Dean waited a few moments before standing and walking to the door.

"I'll have Autumn bring you something up in a little while." he said before leaving.

_Sam walked hand in hand with Athena, his soon to be wife. They had been dating for three years and Sam had proposed to her six months ago. Much to his surprise, she accepted. Every year they came to the county fair. They spent the entire day there, eating funnel cakes, candy apples, and any other junk food that sounded good at the time._

_"Hey Sammy!" Athena jumped in front of Sam as they walked passed a gyro booth._

_"What?… You don't want one of those do you?" he asked nodding towards the booth._

_"Ew, lamb? No way… lets go on the Ferris Wheel!" Sam stared at his girlfriend._

_"Let's not and say we did." he walked around her and headed back down the long path filled with large groups of teenagers._

_"Oh come on!" Athena ran to catch up with him. Entwining their fingers together. "It'll be fun."_

_"I don't do heights, Teenie. You know that."_

_"I'm asking you to go on one ride with me. It's not like bungee jumping or anything. You're not at high risk of dying."_

_"Yes I am. What happens if the seat starts rocking and it tips over and I fall out and crash into the ground? And the carnie doesn't stop the ride he just keeps it going. People kicking me as they go by?"_

_"What kind of world do you live in? The seat isn't going to tip over. And besides, if you did just so happen to fall out, which is very unlikely, the carnie WOULD stop the ride." Sam looked down at the blond. Her eyes were so blue and shone in all the lights around them . How could he say no?_

_"No."_

_"We're going. And you're going to enjoy it, I promise." She let go of his hand and ran up to the ticket booth, just to grab it moments later and drag him off to the line in front of the huge wheel._

_"Look at it though, it's so big… and it turns."_

_"But it's fun."_

_"For you."_

_"No, for you too. Have you ever even been on one of these?"_

_"What's that have to do with anything?"_

_"Oh my God you haven't?!" Athena burst out laughing. "Everyone has been on a Ferris Wheel before!"_

_"I haven't. And I would really like to keep it that way." Athena handed the short old man four tickets and walked through the gate dragging Sam behind her. They climbed into the seat and pulled the safety bar down over their heads and onto their laps. The old man locked them in and told them not to rock the seat, lean forwards or backwards, and not to touch anything nearby. "Do you see that, they have to warn you about everything that can go wrong. Like it's not bad enough already." Athena giggled as their seat started to move backwards. Sam tensed from head to toe._

_"The ride had to start sooner or later, Sam. Relax, if it wasn't safe they wouldn't let people on it." Seconds later the ride stopped._

_"Just my luck. Right on top." Sam sighed._

_"Don't think of it that way. Look at the city and all the lights. You can even see the water tower. All the houses and stores…" Athena coaxed. She felt him relax next to her. "There, that wasn't so hard now was it?" Sam looked at her again. She smiled at him and looked down at all the people walking by._

_"Don't look down." Sam said. She turned her head to look back at him and caught her own lips on his. He put his arm around her and squeezed her closer to him. It wasn't the first time they'd kissed. But even after three years of dating every time he touched her, her stomach still overflowed with butterflies. The ride began to move again and she felt him tense up again, so she pulled away._

"It's all gone. I'll never see her again. I'll never have her sneak up on me and jump on my back, or wake up next to her in the mornings. It's all gone." He told himself. He'd been laying in bed for a week now, unable to get her out of his head. She was always there. Her smile, her laugh, her kiss, how she'd playfully hit him when he teased her. Everything about her still remained. Everything but her physical self. She'd died during a hunt ten days ago. And Sam had been in bed in the clothes he wore to her funeral since she'd been buried. He didn't want to let her go, but knew he had to.

"Hey Sammy." Autumn didn't bother knocking. She walked in and sat down on the bed next to Sam. He looked horrible. His face was unshaven and tear stained, his hair hadn't been brushed and neither had his teeth, and his eyes had lost all the energy they once held.

"Hey." he replied looking at her.

"You need to eat. She was my sister, I know she meant a lot to all of us. But Sammy you have to eat or we're going to lose you too. And at this point I don't think I could handle that. I know you probably have a lot of memories of her going through your head. So do I. This isn't how she would have wanted us to live after she's gone."

"I know. But Autumn she was my fiancé."

"She was my sister, Sam. That's just as hard if not harder. I would love to be in bed, crying and thinking of her. But where's that going to get me? Nowhere. She needs you to be up and over this. She needs you to move on."

"I can't move on. I can't get over it. I need more than just a week. Everyone needs more time. If I could go back and have that werewolf take me instead of her, I would… in a heartbeat. I can't go see her anymore. We just buried an empty casket. That hearse carried nothing but memories of her."

"Sam stop. Just stop. You're looking at all the depressing things. Look at all the good things she's done. All those people she helped save. I'm not going to sit here while you tell me all these things to get me in the same condition you're in. Get your ass up. Get a shower. Shave, brush your teeth and your hair and get the hell downstairs and eat… NOW." Autumn stood from Sam's bedside and stormed out the door. After she left he thought about what he'd been told.

"Well?" Dean said hopefully.

"Well what? There's nothing more we can do. We've told him to get up, we've told him to eat, and we've tried to help him out of it." Autumn started at the dirty dishes sitting in the sink. After she'd wash one she'd sit it on the pile next to her. Dean walked around her and grabbed a rag and started drying the not-so-clean dishes.

**Epilogue**

**Sam stayed in bed for another week after he and Autumn had they're talk about Athena. He never remarried, or had any other girlfriends that meant as much to him as she did. Autumn and Dean, however, married five years after Athena's death. They lived very happy lives together in Texas (Sam refused to hunt after Athena). Sam lived with them and they're 3 kids (Kayla, Kendra, and Kelly) until he passed of natural causes. Autumn and Dean died together 2 years after Sam in a car accident. Kayla, Kendra and Kelly live in their parents house in Texas and go to College not far from their home.**

**A/N: If you want to read more about Sam, Athena, Autumn, and Dean go to my sisters lookup and read The Boogeyman and all the others in the series! (Athena's not dead lol)**

**Thanks for reading.**


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